Los pitufos de Donnie Darko

Donnie Darko. Que decir de esta película. Bien, a título personal diré que si me dijesen, que peli hubieses deseado escribir tú, diría ésta, Donnie Darko.

Para mí un peliculón, impresionante, inquietante, inteligente e increible. Para otros será una mierda, me es igual.

En mi afán de buscar un buen dialogo de esta película para el blog, me acordé de uno, el que hablan de los pitufos y la pitufina... para morirse de risa.

N.B. (nota del blogger) Smurf = Pitufo, Barrufet. Para entender mejor. Ahí va:

EXT. OLD GUN RUINS - AFTERNOON (FRIDAY MAGIC HOUR, 4:30
P.M.)

The ruins of a brick chimney sit in the middle of a field.
Donnie, Sean and Ronald have lined up several empty beer bottles,
cans and stuffed animals on the hearth.

They take turns blasting these targets with a BB gun.

Blam! A can falls over. Ronald hands the gun to Donnie. Sean pulls out

a bottle of Raspberry Night Train and takes a sip.
He hands the bottle to Ronald.

RONALD
What is this shit?

SEAN
Raspberry.

He takes a big sip... which results in a dry heave.

RONALD
Raspberry. That's good shit.

Donnie aims the crosshairs on Smurfette's head. He pulls trigger. Smurfette falls over.

RONALD
Wicked.

SEAN
No more fuckin' for her.

RONALD
Smurfette doesn't fuck.

SEAN
Bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the
other smurfs. That's why Papa Smurf
made her, 'cause the other smurfs
were getting too horny.

RONALD
Not Vanity. He's a homo.

Blam! A bottle shatters.

SEAN
Then she fucks 'em all while Vanity
watches. And Papa Smurf films it.

Ronald takes another sip of Night Train... followed by another dry heave. Blam! A bottle breaks.

DONNIE
First of all... Papa Smurf didn't
create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She
was sent in as Gargemel's evil spy,
with the intention of destroying the
smurf village. But the overwhelming
Goodness of the Smurf Way of Life
transformed her into the Smurfette
we all know and love. And as for the
whole gang-bang scenario... it just
couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual.
They probably don't even have
reproductive organs down there under
those little white pants. The only
reason they exist is because of magic
spells and witchcraft... which is
all a bunch of bullshit if you ask
me.
(beat)
That's what's so illogical about the
smurfs... what's the point of living
if you don't have a dick?

Donnie aims the gun... pulls the trigger. Blam! A bottle breaks.

RONALD
Dammit, Donnie! Why do you always
gotta get all smart on us!